impersonal intimacies.

She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. vs. 17

How do I become a woman of strength? Working on my bi-ceps, tri-ceps, and all those other ceps my body has? Well, yes. But not really the kinda strength I mean.

I went to the Vine Women’s Conference on Saturday…

Impersonal Intimacies: The Deceptions of False Identity in Social Networking.

The only way that I can be that strong woman after God’s heart is if  I have transparent relationships with other godly women in my life…so they can hold me up when I don’t have the strength, be honest with me about my weaknesses, and help me discover the identity God created for me rather than this image that I want to portray.

I learned a lot. God showed me a lot. I want to reflect on some of those things so I can remind myself to actually live this out:

The first talk was about our identity.

– Who are we really? What is our true identity? The identity God gave us whenever He made us alive in Him rather than dead in sin. Rather than the identity we portray through social media.

– I tend to be a people pleaser. I find my identity in how other people view me. I am praying Jesus will change that in me. I will find my identity in Him and how He looks at me.

-People’s approval is an appetite for me, I crave it. I have to learn to say NO to those appetites. I don’t need anyone’s approval.

-There can be a lot of insecurity wrapped up in social media…if you are single and want to be engaged, or not pregnant and want to be pregnant, guard your heart in social media. Meaning: you don’t have to look at all the pictures of your friends and their new spouse/baby. You don’t have to look at how “awesome” other people’s lives are and desire that too. God has a perfect plan. Follow that plan. Know your vulnerabilities and guard yourself in social media.

-It’s okay to say, “I don’t have it all together.” Oh gee, I needed to hear that. You won’t hear me complain or see me not smiling very often. Even when the last thing I want to do is smile. I am going to try and be more genuine. It’s okay if things are going perfect in my life, it’s okay that if my room is messy for a day, it’s okay if I ordered fast food for the night because I didn’t want to cook. Why must I feel that I have to portray this perfect image? Guess what? I don’t have it all together.

-Don’t try to be someone else. Enough said.

-The last part of this talk about “What is it to you.” She said a lot of statements that started with this…not in a harsh manner but rather speaking truth to us.

-What is it to you that she was asked to do this and you weren’t?

– What is it to you the her kids are well-behaved?

– What is it to you that she is engaged and you are still single?

– What is is to you that she was called on a church plant and you weren’t’?

Exactly! Why do I care about things like that? I just wanna be who God made me. Not the person I see all these other people being or portraying to be through social networking.

The second talk was about transparency.

-First, it’s important to grow comfortable and embrace who you are…even if you are “under construction.” <- which by the way, we all are.

-Am I truly transparent with other women? What areas do I tend to hold back? Identify the areas I keep secret.

– Through prayer, pick women that can be there to hold you accountable.

– What transparency is not: a one way conversation, telling just part of the story, getting to know others and not letting them get to know you.

-Transparency= truth teller.

– Living out our faith in community. It’s meant to be lived out together.

-Transparency brings freedom!

-Things we have to surrender in order to be transparent:pride, embarrassment, “fake it until you make it” attitude, perfection.

-Once you get a taste of a transparent relationship, you won’t want anything else.

-When you keep stuff in (stuff from the past, current struggles, etc..) it holds power of you.

-Yes, we can speak truth in our lives; however, it helps SO much to have others speak truth to your life as well. Freedom comes with that.

The third and final talk was about friendships.

-We have a lot of social media “friends” but those aren’t true friendships, unless you are extremely selective in social networking.

-A friendship is a special type of relationship.

-We all need each other.

-Friendships should be balanced. Don’t think you will “save” someone. Only God can do that.

-It takes true commitment to be a true friend.

-A friendship is sometimes telling people what we notice is their weaknesses are.

-Not everyone is supposed to be your close friend. That’s okay.

-Although confrontation is not easy, it is often necessary. Especially if the friendships changes due to someone moving, someone getting married, a new baby, etc..You won’t be the same friends as you were before. That’s okay. Have a conversation about that. If not, there will be a disconnect that will cause  conflict. Conversations saying, “Hey, even though life has changed..you are still my friend. We are different friends. We may not see each other as much due to life changes…yet still friends.”

-Do you need to be fed compliments from people on social networking sites? This isn’t healthy.

So, BAM! Jesus did good things at this conference. I am thankful for other women whom I can be transparent with.

Also….I have been cooking….promise. I just have been a little lacking in posting about it. whoops!

I cooked this last week…broccoli cheese soup with Cinnamon bread.

Then last night  I cooked a HUGE breakfast…an omelet with green peppers, onions, and cheese, turkey bacon, and hash browns. Greasy but delicious 😀

I had never made an omelet before. It was fun.

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