“She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. ” vs. 17
I love it when God is teaching me something. Lately it’s been simplicity. For some reason, I have this idea that my value is based off of my productivity. That if I am not constantly doing something and “making good use of my time” that I am less of a person, Christian, or woman. Well, like always, God is showing me that my thinking in this is incorrect.
When I look at verses like the one above, I assume that it means that I should always be vigorously working. However, it seems to me that the more tasks I have my hand in, the less productive I am in those tasks. It’s better to do a few things well than to do many things poorly.
At the fall retreat, Sándor had us write down all of the things that consume our life. (work, school, relationships, etc..). I wrote down 19 things. Ahhhh. I realized that I am very involved in lots of tasks yet I am not thoroughly enjoying it. Yes, I am positive every day when I am work, school, etc.. However, I slowly feel bitterness trying to creep in because I don’t feel rested or I have trouble being still.
Recently, I have been not been able to go to sleep. I will lay in bed for maybe a good 45 minutes to an hour (even after I was up since 5:30am). This doesn’t seem right to me. Normally, I would be exhausted at the end of the day. Yes, I am thankful for energy, but I feel that it is slightly misplaced. My mind is running 100+ miles an hour, and I have to fight it just to be able to go to sleep. That’s not healthy.
So, I am trying to simplify my life. For my regular readers you may be wondering: “Where’s the pictures? What’s the recipe of the week?” There is none. Sometimes simplicity means that I don’t always do things the same way just because I feel I have to. I can do what I feel, and if that means not cooking or cleaning or doing something “productive,” then that’s what it means.
One way that I recently simplified life was by taking a leave of absence from Red Lobster. I love that job. And I didn’t want to quit. So my manager offered me a leave, where as needed, I can work on my breaks (holidays, summers, etc..). I always had to work Sundays, and I wanted to be able to use Sunday for what it’s meant to be. Also, school is very important, and I was feeling drained after Sundays and not ready to start the school week again. This leave of absence thing is definitely not a normal decision I would make. Typically, I would justify working another job because I needed the money and it’s always important to save. Well, guess what? God’s gonna provide. He has already given me a great kid sitting opportunity that is relaxing, fun, and in Carbondale. Not quite as stressful as a server job in the middle of Endless Shrimp Promotion. With kid sitting, I can have every Sunday off. Wow, just typing that sentence makes me happy.
As I have been praying about this simplicity idea and wrestling with God about my pride issues, I stumbled across this blog…. (please read it, it is very inspiring). Sometimes I need someone to just say, “It’s okay to be still.”
So watch your favorite tv show, go for a walk and look at the leaves, or take a nap. It’s okay…you deserve it.